No one plans to have a child with autism. It’s an oddity of human nature that individuals naively expect that disabilities, failures, and tragedies both small and profound occur only to others. We instinctively exist in a bubble of our own creation where we imagine perfect children, healthy marriages, successful careers, and where the people we love will always remain with us in our unique space in the universe.
The suspicion that your child has autism begins as a nagging paranoia emanating from the subconscious like a monster who has unexpectedly taken up residence. Daily battles ensue with this unwelcome guest as your mind struggles. Truth becomes a specter, both difficult to see and unwelcome.
With acceptance comes confidence that you have the power to discover a therapy that will cure your child’s autism, alternating with crying under the covers feeling like a coward. A child with autism comes into the world appearing healthy and perfect and a diagnosis of Autistic Disorder is a shock.
I have no answers, only experiences. Some are admittedly tragic while others are quite amusing. I would not change any of them. My hope is that readers will see a bit of themselves in my successes and failures as a parent and find their own inspiration. The monster in the closet is always terrifying until you simply open the door.